When I meet Thai people, and go through all of the normal Thai questions that come up, there is usually a question tucked in there inquiring as to where do I live. It’s not meant in a what’s your address and when are you not at home sort of way. It’s that living arrangements are another manifestation of the collectivist society, just as how it influences children in the classroom and sharing meals.
When I tell people that I live alone, more often than not they are very surprised. I get asked if I’m scared. I get asked if I see ghosts. Other adults at my school, who have already asked those questions, will ask weekly if I’m happy at my house. The answers are always, no, no and yes. “Jing law? (Really?) “Jing jing!” (Really really!)
It is most common for extended Thai families to live together. If not under a single roof, then on a compound of houses that are within spitting distance of each other. Housing lines, and the spirits that inhabit them, are matrilineal. When a daughter gets married, her husband comes to live with her in her family’s house or at a house on her family’s compound, because the spirits of a daughter-in-law do not get along with the spirits of her mother-in-law.
This arrangement works very well in a number of situations; one situation is becoming increasingly common in rural areas. Many parents of rural children that are currently in elementary school go away to a large city, such as Bangkok or Chiang Mai or Pattaya, for work. As a result, you will find many young children in the rural villages being raised by their grandparents or aunts and uncles. It makes it much easy for this to occur when the children were already living in the same house as their grandma or their house is 2 meters from their aunt’s.
It is also because of this living arrangement that it is unusual for people to leave their village. The people who do leave, do so for better work opportunity and are always focused on returning some day. Not many people think of moving to another place because they might like that area of the country better. So there is a barely perceptible level of “girl, you crazy,” when I talk about the different places I’ve lived. Especially when I mention that I lived alone.