Thai Collectivism at Meal Times

As much as I enjoy independent living, there is one thing that I find really difficult and sometimes depressing: cooking for one. I really enjoy cooking; finding fresh produce at the farmers’ marker, trying out new recipes and making a meal to be shared is something that I find really delightful. But when you are kon diao (by yourself) then it’s difficult to get the motivation to make a really involved meal. Googling meals for one is something to do when you are feeling too happy. However, because Thailand is a collectivist society, meal times are usually much less lonely.

Eating is a big part of the culture here. One of the most common greetings is “Gin kao ru yang?” which literally means, “Have you eaten rice yet?” I talked about this and other questions in a video blog a while back. Thai people want to make sure that you are taken care of, because if you answer no, you haven’t they will often offer some food to you.

Meals are always a communal activity here. Several different dishes are put in the middle and each person gets their own plate of rice. The youngest female serves everyone their rice. You use your own utensils to dip in and take one or two spoonfuls of one of the dishes in the middle, get some rice from your plate and take a bite. Thai cuisine is all about the mingling of the flavors. There is also no shame in taking all of the bits that are your favorite from a dish and not sharing it with everyone else at the table. In homes, there is a communal water cup that everyone shares.

When going out to eat, one person will order everything for the table. Again, there are multiple dishes in the middle and everyone serves themselves one or two bites at a time. Most of the time, however, I get my own special dish of fried rice or pad see ew because I’m a vegetarian. The times that I have gotten to participate in the communal dish sharing has been at my first host family’s house or when we go to a vegetarian restaurant. Usually when the hosts find out I’m a vegetarian, they will whip up some fried vegetables and a Thai-style omelette. Most often it is the latter, and so I’m usually plenty happy with my own dish of food. But it does make enjoying Thai foods a little more difficult.

Whenever there is a gathering of people, it is inevitable that the women that come end up making food of some kind and serving everyone else. Funerals, monk ordinations, community celebrations, whatever. No matter who is hosting, every respectable woman pitches in to help feed everyone. I’ve watched 10 women shred up kilos upon kilos of green papayas for 6 other women to make somtam (a spicy papaya salad) which is then served to the multitudes of guests by 5 other women and the dishes are cleared and done by another 8 women. Not only is eating together a communal affair, but the preparation and making of the food is as well. There is no such thing as too many cooks in a Thai kitchen.